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Roses

May 9, 2010

This morning my son woke me up with the yelling of “Mama, Mama… ahhhhh Mama, Mama”… the usual way I seem to wake up these days. I noticed my hubby was no where in sight… When I opened the door to my son’s room there my beautiful angel stood in his bed holding something…

“What do you have, sweetie?” I questioned.

I grabbed the object out of his hands and that is when I received the most wonderful gift I think I have ever received. It was an “I love you, mom” magnet with my son’s picture in the middle. It was some sort of art work he had made in school (or should I say his teachers made for him)… but it still was beautiful. My hubby planned out the whole ~me waking up and finding the magnet in my sons hands~ idea. PLUS- my hubby gave me a gift card for a shopping spree… WOOOO HOOOOO! He gave me a big wet kiss and hugs.

I went to church today…I always feel better after going to church.

After returning from church I changed out of my black top/gray skirt and my “to die for” black heels and changed into my khaki shorts, brown top and flip-flops…

My hubby said today was my day and I should do whatever I pleased… SOoooooo…. I went outside and cut six pink roses off my rose bush… my beautiful rose bush that once was my grandmother’s… and I made a small bouquet with the roses.

Around 2:00 P.M. (after putting my sons down for their nap and leaving my husband to baby-sit) I got into my vehicle and drove to a place I hadn’t been since November 11, 2002.

As I pulled into the driveway and parked my car, butterflies were in my stomach. I just sat there looking down at my steering wheel and tears came to my eyes.

“Get out of this car right now!” I yelled to myself.

I reached over and picked up the small bouquet of roses, I had put together earlier in the day, off of the passenger side seat. I opened the driver’s side door and slid out and onto the rocky driveway. As I walked off of the rocky driveway and onto the grassy patches of land I was surrounded by flags flying, balloons floating, stuffed animals smiling and the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen.

I finally reached my destination.

I paused and stared at my feet…

I finally looked up and faced what I should have done a long time ago…

“Hello, It’s been awhile.” I softly stated with tears in my eyes.

The wind blew silently through the warm air… and I… I sat down on the small grassy knoll beside my grandmother. I told her of my life since I last saw her.

“I have 2 sons now, grandmother. Can you believe I am a mother?” I chuckled.

After many minutes of my chatter I placed my hand above my grandmother and whispered “I miss you each and every day.”

I sat there for what seemed like an eternity and I eventually got up enough nerve to say “good-bye” to my grandmother.

I stood up and laid the bouquet of roses beside the angel… the stone angel my sister had placed by my grandmother’s tombstone the day we buried her, November 11, 2002.

“These are the roses from your rose bush, grandmother. I know how you loved that rose bush and thought… well, I thought I would bring a little something to you that you enjoyed.”

As I began to walk away, I touched her tombstone and with tears rolling down my face I cried “Happy Mother’s Day”…

_______________

My tears… my tears were not of sorrow… they were of happiness… of memories that my grandmother and I had shared together. This, to me, was the best Mother’s Day. I faced something I should have faced a while back… my grandmother has left this earth… but she will always remain in my heart.

Visiting her today was my gift to me….

…and the music plays on!

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